The Women's World Cup semi-finals have lesbians everywhere feeling like they've accidentally double-booked two dates on the same night. With the Matildas, flaunting Australia’s Pride Parade on cleats with stars like Sam Kerr and Ellie Carpenter, squaring off against the Lionesses with queer powerhouses like Lucy Bronze and Rachel Daly, the drama is palpable. "It's like choosing between doc martens and Birkenstocks" sighed one fan, her existential crisis deepening. As the whistle blows, fans are left wondering: can we just merge the teams and call it a day?
