R Kelly releases children's pop-up book in attempt to find new wife
AIN'T GONNA WORK BUDDY: After destroying his public image and the lives of women; convicted trafficker, abuser, and millionaire music...
"BREAKING: Millennials can now save for a house AND buy smashed avo toast!"
HAVE AN AVO: A national Avocado oversupply has caused young Australians to rejoice as they can now afford their weekly avocado toast...
Dad wins Australian of the Year after tying daughters hair up for school despite Mum doing it every
Dad wins Australian of the Year after tying daughters hair up for school despite Mum doing it every other day NATIONAL HERO: Local dad,...
Influencer has panic attack after $4000 Hermes gum boots are ruined by Splendour in the Mud
SHOCK HORROR: After spending $4000 of Daddy’s money on the luxurious Hermès Jumping boots - that look like good old gumboots - Tiffany...
Young conservative replaces Jordan Peterson bedroom poster with Andrew Tate portrait
WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR ANDREW TATE POSTER? Andrew Tate is the latest sensation to sweep across the world of social media, thanks to his...
Putin calls off further European invasion after Greek shop owner threatens to "smacka his head"
NOT PLAYING GAMES: Putin has officially announced that he will be disengaging from all military conflict against Ukraine and the rest of...
TikTok user abruptly ends real-life conversation by asking to "like for part 2"
I CAN'T GIVE IT TO YOU ALL AT ONCE! These were the words of Aaron, 20, who had gathered his friends to tell them some exciting news....
Girlfriend starts watching NRL after seeing Nathan Cleary on boyfriend’s TV
DREAMY CLEARY: Woah there! After refusing to watch the NRL for years, Josh’s girlfriend Maddie suddenly warmed up to watching the NRL in...
Splendour in the Grass introduce impromptu Tough Mudder obstacle course to get to the main stage
SPLENDOUR IN THE MUD: As the long-awaited three day festival Splendour in the Grass had its first day of shows cancelled due to wet...
Eye of Sauron briefly appeared above Big Ben at peak temperature of UK heatwave
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME: As the United Kingdom was subjected to a heatwave this week, confusion set in to the public when the most...
Mouldy dish ecosystem already evolved to a point where it can pay rent
ENDANGERED SPECIES: A new type of fauna has been discovered growing out of the local share house sink after the consistent neglection...
Student intern concludes office placement an expert at ordering coffee
CHAI LATTE ON ALMOND PLEASE: Hugo, 22, recently concluded his latest internship at a top accounting firm. Initially, he accepted the...
Formula 1 to introduce Mario Kart inspired item boxes
BULLET BILL: One of the main complaints many people have about Formula 1 and other car racing is that it's just cars driving around in...
Alt-Right fringe group boycott popular snack Twisties due to Smith's anti-straight agenda
LIFE IS PRETTY STRAIGHT WITHOUT TWISTIES: Twisties have been a staple in Australia's snacking habits since they were first released 70...
BREAKING: League of Legends player finds love
MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN: League of Legends is infamous for permanently ruining players' emotional processing via inducing them into a...
Taylor Swift and Kanye West rumoured to be working on a Taylor's Version rendition of Famous
UNLIKELY COLLABORATION: As many fans know, singer-songwriter, Taylor Swift, has recently regained publishing rights to her earlier...
Window seat passenger with weak bladder overtakes crying baby as most annoying person on flight
HOLD IT IN MATE: Tempers flared on today's QF32 flight from Los Angeles to Sydney as Ben attempted to sleep through the overnight...
Artist sells abstract hair-on-shower-wall Rorschach-inspired artwork for $50M
ARTISTIC GENIUS: Local up-and-coming abstract artist, Jennifer Lewis, has recently auctioned a one-of-a-kind piece depicting clumps of...
Office worker suffers third degree burns after trying to fish out fork in their ramen
WORKPLACE HEALTH AND SAFETY: It was a traumatic lunch break for Hayley who lost her fork deep in her ramen bowl. Without second thought,...
UFC returns to Australia headlined with a welterweight match-up between Burton and Gagai
IT'S TIME!!!: After the rise of Australian UFC stars since the pandemic, including the dominant Lightweight Champion, Alex Volkanovski,...