Man attempts to remove extra virgin quality from olive oil by having sex with the bottle

DESPERATE TIMES: While cooking dinner for his family, local father of three, Joshua, came up with a creative idea to change the way his olive oil tasted. He hypothesised that if he removed the extra virgin quality of the oil, then a much richer flavour could be achieved. He decided that having sexual intercourse with the bottle would take the oil's virginity, thus providing this richer flavour. However, the results were incredibly underwhelming, especially as Joshua was interrupted mid-experiment by his wife, who proceeded to immediately confiscate and dispose of the oil and food