Misinformed Magpie News
APPRENTICE BROUGHT BACK TO REALITY AFTER BEING CALLED 'CHAMP' 32 TIMES ON FIRST DAY DON'T CHAMP ME MATE: Riding high off his Year 12...
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Misinformed Magpie News
LOCAL TEACHER EXHAUSTED FROM FIRST DAY AFTER 3-MONTH BREAK TOUGH LIFE: Just 1 day in to the new school year, local teacher Ava has...
Dad wins Australian of the Year after tying daughters hair up for school despite Mum doing it every
Dad wins Australian of the Year after tying daughters hair up for school despite Mum doing it every other day NATIONAL HERO: Local dad,...
Influencer has panic attack after $4000 Hermes gum boots are ruined by Splendour in the Mud
SHOCK HORROR: After spending $4000 of Daddy’s money on the luxurious Hermès Jumping boots - that look like good old gumboots - Tiffany...
Mouldy dish ecosystem already evolved to a point where it can pay rent
ENDANGERED SPECIES: A new type of fauna has been discovered growing out of the local share house sink after the consistent neglection...
Student intern concludes office placement an expert at ordering coffee
CHAI LATTE ON ALMOND PLEASE: Hugo, 22, recently concluded his latest internship at a top accounting firm. Initially, he accepted the...
Window seat passenger with weak bladder overtakes crying baby as most annoying person on flight
HOLD IT IN MATE: Tempers flared on today's QF32 flight from Los Angeles to Sydney as Ben attempted to sleep through the overnight...
Artist sells abstract hair-on-shower-wall Rorschach-inspired artwork for $50M
ARTISTIC GENIUS: Local up-and-coming abstract artist, Jennifer Lewis, has recently auctioned a one-of-a-kind piece depicting clumps of...
Office worker suffers third degree burns after trying to fish out fork in their ramen
WORKPLACE HEALTH AND SAFETY: It was a traumatic lunch break for Hayley who lost her fork deep in her ramen bowl. Without second thought,...
Local man claims $100,000 flood payment after home was completely destroyed by tiny patch of mould i
Local man claims $100,000 flood payment after home was completely destroyed by tiny patch of mould in bathroom MOULDY MONEY: With the...
White man becomes small business owner after opening yet another desperately needed micro-brewery
Matty, a white man from Sydney’s inner west has opened another sorely needed organic, locally-sourced micro-brewery. The uniquely named...
Apple technology fan mistakes airport queues for iphone release
THIS ISN’T SO BAD: Local Apple fanatic and total psychopath Laura rushed to Sydney’s Kingford-Smith Airport today upon hearing there were...
Dad's sneeze registers as a 7.5 magnitude earthquake
NATURAL DISASTER: Jesus fucking Christ, Jerry! A local dad has once again sneezed with such violent force that an earthquake of 7.5 was...
Tradie reckons spending $10,000 on tools was 'actually a steal' because of tax time
TOOL TAX: A local tradie has shared his 'tax time haul' on Instagram this week - the image being a pile of tools, fixings and parts with...
'Goth' tenant kicked out of sharehouse as her room style wasn't boho chic
CALL THE STYLE POLICE: A sharehouse located in the city's inner suburbs has come under fire this week as it was revealed the tenants...
Man who can't seem to find the origin of his depression decides to rewatch Neon Genesis Evangelion a
Man who can't seem to find the origin of his depression decides to rewatch Neon Genesis Evangelion a 4th time DEPRESSION DEFERMENT: Local...
Bob Katter passes Reptile Discrimination Act in bold attempt to segregate crocodiles from society
LET THERE BE A THOUSAND BLOSSOMS BLOOM: After a stellar election performance, Bob Katter has been quick to enact his key policy:...
22-year-old man caught severely lacking after sending 'streaks'
MODERN DAY TRAGEDY: Someone call up William Shakespeare, because a tragedy has just occurred which warrants creation of a new play. Henry...
Heater temperature settings number 1 cause of family breakdowns
BOILING POINT: As freezing temperatures have swept over Australia in the past few weeks, a consistent argument has family members on...
Mathematics denier stumped when asked how many years old he is
NUMBERS ARE USELESS: Local mathematics denier Bradley, (age not given), was sent into a daze earlier this week when someone asked him a...
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