Putin calls off further European invasion after Greek shop owner threatens to "smacka his head"

NOT PLAYING GAMES: Putin has officially announced that he will be disengaging from all military conflict against Ukraine and the rest of Europe after a trip to the Greek islands turned sour. Putin was getting a bit tired of continuously fighting a pointless war that only has the outcome of killing millions of innocent civilians, so decided to take a quick holiday vacation to the sights of Santorini. But, when attempting to purchase a quick snack at a local corner shop, Putin felt the wrath of shop owner, Kostas, who ensured immense pain would accompany any further military action in Europe. Kostas did acknowledge that any war against Turkey would be fine.